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I’m not that girl

I’ve never been the girl that everyone wants to include.

I’ve never been the girl that everyone vies for my attention.

I’ve never been the girl that’s completely comfortable being herself.

I’ve never been the girl that says hi to every new person she meets.

I’ve never been the girl that’s good at including everyone in conversations.

I’ve never been the girl that’s the life of the party.

I’ve never been the girl who enjoys going to parties.

I’ve never been the girl that everyone includes in their plans.

I’ve never been the girl who laughs in the face of fear.

I’ve never been the girl who makes weird things cool.

I’ve never been the girl who all the boys want.

I’ve never been the girl who everyone wants to look like.

I’ve never been the girl who can flirt properly.

I’ve never been the girl who can plaster on a fake smile and pretend everything’s great.

I’ve never been the girl who’s the leader of her group of friends.

I’ve never been the girl who’s had a concrete group of friends.

I’ve never been the girl who can bond with someone over the simplest thing.

I’ve never been the girl who stands out in the crowd.

I’ve never been the girl unafraid to enter a crowd.

I’ve never been the girl who says, “Pull over, let’s go dance in the field of flowers!”

I’ve never been the girl who doesn’t doubt herself.

I’ve never been the girl who assumes everyone likes her.

I’ve never been the girl who’s comfortable with her weight.

I’ve never been the girl who¬†breaks all the rules.

I’ve never been the girl who keeps friends close even when far away.

I’ve never been the girl who’s smile can brighten the day.

I’ve never been that girl.

Most days I want to be.

I desperately, wholeheartedly, want to be that girl.

Life looks much simpler and more wonderful on that side of the hill.

I want to become that girl. But I know I cannot change.

 

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