#writing · Photography · Travel · Uncategorized

Missing Home

it always felt like Home with you.

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Now i’m missing my familiarity. My sense of belonging and comfort. But maybe my home wasn’t right for me.  I guess Only you know.

and there’s nothing I can do to get it back. That’s the worst part.

Scratch that

the worst part is not knowing if you were just using me, to have some company or just another hand to hold, or if you truly did feel something like home and belonging with me. If I was *special* to you.

That. That is the worst part.

WHY?

I want to shout this from the rooftops.

I’ve definitely shouted this in my room.

Why why why why whyw whywhywhyw hwy why whyw whyw hwywhywhywhwy hwywhwywhywhwyw                         why.

It’s probably better off not knowing honestly. Save me from more heartbreak. Now I know to protect myself from men/boys like you. When I get that gut feeling next time, knowing that he won’t ever commit to me, I’ll know to step away.  I will put my hands defiantly out in front of me and say “NO THANK YOU,”

“not this heart. This is not yours for the taking.”

And yeah, maybe I seem insane for writing this. But if you, boy, ever read this, it confirms my suspicions that you actually do still care. And if you don’t, then it confirms my other suspicions that you never did.

For my own sake I hope you don’t read this. Because then it makes perfect sense why you were able to walk away from whatever we had after so many months.

so goodbye to all that

goodbye to the good memories

goodbye to the times when we would barely talk for days at a time and I thought you were mad at me

goodbye to the days i didn’t think i could be any happier

goodbye to the day we met, when I knew I wanted a slice of happiness with you

goodbye to every little bit of being you gave to me.

I give it back to you.

Goodbye.

 

 

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